So I'm thinking about how this week has gone. 

I came into work earlier in the week, before I started on Tuesday I broke down completely. I cried walking into town. And I cried when I got to the office. I stayed for an hour, as I got panicked and felt sick and weak.

Yesterday I still didn't feel right. So I stayed home again.

But today I managed to last till the end. Everything went ok. Yes I had a moment or two where I had to step out, take my breath and sort my head out. But I did it. Everyone at work has been supportive, non judgemental and just generally lovely.  

The fear I had with being here is so hard to explain. I feel safe at home and I feel safe with my family and friends, and I want to feel like I did before with work too.

Taking small steps. 

But I do miss naps.